how to play calvinball..

[NOTE: due to the fall of geocities, the original site that contained these rules is no longer to be found (there was also another site that was hosting it, but that site went down too..) However, my superhuman detective skills led me to find an old version of these rules, which I have mirrored here (with a few edits) at an insaner world. Enjoy! Click here if you just want to play calvinball..]

The Official Rules of Calvinball

1. Calvinball Rules

1.1. Masks

All players must wear a Calvinball mask (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.1). No one questions the masks (Figure 2.1).

* IMPORTANT -- The following rules are subject to be changed, amended, or dismissed by any player(s) involved.

1.2. Rules

Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game (Figure 1.2). The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone (Refer to Rule 1.5) the player is in.

1.3. the Calvinball

A player may use the Calvinball (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.2) in any way the player sees fit, from causal injury to self-reward.

1.4. Penalties

Any penalty legislation may be in the form of pain, embarassment, or any other abasement the rulee deems fit to impose on his opponent.

1.5. Field

The Calvinball Field (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.3) should consist of areas, or zones, which are governed by a set of rules declared spontaneously and inconsistently by players. Zones may be appear and disappear as often and wherever the player decides. Zones are often named for their effect. For example, a corollary zone would enable a player to make a corollary (sub-rule) to any rule that has benn, will be, or might be declared. A pernicious poem place would require the intruder to do what the name implies. Or an opposite zone would enable a player to declare reverse playibility on the others. (Remember, the player would declare this zone oppositely by not declaring it.) (Figure 1.5a and 1.5b)

1.6. Flags

Flags (Calvinball Equipment 2.3) shall be named by players whom shall also assign the power and rules which shall govern that flag for particular moment in that particular game(Figure 1.6).

1.7. Songs

Songs are an integral part of Calvinball and verses must be sung spontaneously through the game when randomly assigned events occur. These random events will be named and pointed out after the player causes the event.

1.8. Score

Score may be kept or disregarded. In the event that score is kept, it shall have no bearing on the game nor shall it have any logical consistency to it. (Legal scores include 'Q to 12', 'BW-109 to YU-34, and 'Nosebleed to Trousers'.) (Figure 1.9)

1.9. Rule reuse

Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it causes the same result as a previous game.

Calvinball games may never be played the same way twice (Figure 1.9)

2. Calvinball Equipment

2.1. Masks

All participants are required to wear a mask - Figure 1.1

2.2. the Calvinball

A Calvinball may be a soccerball, volleyball, or any other reasonable or unreasonable, spherical or non-spherical object - Figure 2.1a and Figure 2.1b

2.3. Field

Calvinball Field - The Calvinball Field should be any well-sized field, preferably with trees, rocks, grass, creeks, and other natural hindrances to health.

2.4. Miscellaneous

Other optional equipment include flags, wickets (especially of the time-fracture variety), and anything else the players wish to include (Figure 2.4).

** This rulebook is not required, nor necessary to play Calvinball.

Special Thanks to the Calvinball Founders: Bill Watterson, Calvin, and Hobbes.