You've heard of "calvinball" before... you've always wanted to play, but never had the chance.. well, because this is an insaner world, and I make up the rules here as I go, here's your chance! If you don't know how to play though, make sure to read the rules, watch the others and learn from them!!
If there is enough interest, I will eventually implement a login for those who wish, in order to keep track of stats and stuff (if you would like such a feature, make your "action" say "logs in!")... but for now, lets just see how well it's received..
READ THIS FIRST:
Here's a short explanation of how to get the most out of your text-based calvinball experience at "an insaner world"..
So, if, for example, you wanted to declare a new rule for the game, you would enter your name in the first box, choose your calvatar, select "new rule" from the options and then type your rule, for example: "everyone not playing calvinball must dance a jig!" (see? no need to write "NEW RULE!")
Be sure to also read the calvin and hobbes unofficial official rules of calvinball before you play. Let the game begin!!
 |
Manski |
| NEW RULE!! slap the next person you see in the face with a sandwich for +2 explosion emojis to your score | |
 |
Manski |
| plant the flag in the most disrespectful place to the other team or lose t^-2 points | |
|
Manski |
| logs in | |
 |
m |
| the score is now: WOSSAMOTTA U to SUCC to SPAGHET to TIDEPODS to ROCKY | |
|
Rocket J. Squirrel |
| Bullwinkle and I have activated the WARD flag! Most of you have got 60 seconds to touch it and the spaghet next to it. If you don't, then we won't hurt you, but instead you'll just have to write our names on the whiteboard. Place of Flying Lessons: Cedar Yorpantz Flying School. Maybe someone lodged a jetpack down my body. | |
 |
Gark |
| garkety gark gark | |
|
Merp |
| I activate the EXPLOSION flag! Everyone has 15 seconds to touch it or else they will explode and are out of the game! | |
 |
Calvin |
| NEW RULE!! shooting at many players. | |
 |
Query.not.found |
| NEW RULE!! You must hit the person nearest to you with a sandwich. Anyone who does not have their sandwich must immediately move ten feet to the right or fit through one of the wickets. | |
|
E |
| the score is now: E to 1,0002,0202 | |
|
Yee |
| I eat a ham sandwich while flying at lightspeed | |
|
E |
| NEW RULE!! Everyone playing except the one with the ball must do a headstand every 5 seconds! | |
|
S U C C |
| NEW RULE!! all rules removed | |
 |
Ugandan Knuckles |
| NEW RULE!! Spit on the non-believers (losers) and tell them they don't know de wey. If anyone is offended, then ignore this icon. | |
|
jen |
| running away from dogs | |
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Susie |
| You have to hide the flag and other opponents try to steal it. | |
 |
syncophant |
| NEW RULE!! dump gatorade on the losers head every time they score! | |
|
qwertyopesderaxcinm |
| I touch the anti-Pixel pole. Pixel is out of the game. | |
|
A cat |
| A cat appears. | |
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Moe |
| Moe says: "HI!!!" | |
|
qwertyopesderaxcinm |
| NEW RULE!! Pixel's rule has been removed! | |
 |
010101 |
| I activate the MONEYYYYYYY flag, and earn 100$. | |
 |
Klinkou |
| the score is now: LOL - OMG | |
 |
HHF |
| I touch all the wickets in order. I get 10 points. | |
|
HHF |
| I touch all the wickets in order. I get 10 points. | |
 |
Pixel |
| NEW RULE!! qwertyopesderaxcinm cannot move if he has 1 or more Q's! | |
 |
Announcer |
| the score is now: MJ-078 to DY-476 | |
|
qwertyopesderaxcinm |
| the score is now: Yes to no | |
|
Star |
| NEW RULE!! If your shirt is purple, you lose one Q! | |
|
10 |
| the score is now: B - 13 | |
|
K |
| I run around the orange pole, thus earning myself 12 Q's. | |
|
Bob |
| NEW RULE!! All players must suddenly quack like a duck when a ball is in the air or in the no song zone | |
 |
your mom |
| The Mom Flag was invoked. Any players with the Slow Motion effect may now move at full speed. All cats must be hunted down and petted for a total of PURR Points for every cat caught. | |
|
patrick henry |
| I shoot you with the Nerf Dart of Slowing. You now have to move in slow motion until you pass the Blue Zone and attain the Paradigm Pinecone. | |
|
Greengold |
| the score is now: zzzz to 37 Giraffes | |
 |
Greengold |
| I score, slam my head against the wall, and pass out. I am awarded extra points for sleeping during a game. | |
|
Greengold |
| I score, slam my head against the wall, and pass out. I am awarded extra points for sleeping during a game. | |
|
Greengold |
| I score, slam my head against the wall, and pass out. I am awarded extra points for sleeping during a game. | |
|
we want to play calvinball |
| NEW RULE!! everytime you make a goal, slam your head against the wall 6 times | |
|
Greengold |
| Catches the flag, and dunks it into the VERY real swimming pool. Orange points to me! | |
|
patrick johns |
| throw the flag | |
|
patrick johns |
| on wicket five, jump around | |
|
clover |
| throw flag | |
|
Blatant Lies |
| NEW RULE!! There is a swimming pool. Ignore all evidence to the contrary. | |
|
Greengold |
| pidgeon jumps over wicket 400 instead of 40. He has to go sit in the box of shame | |
|
Pigeon |
| NEW RULE!! Freeze everything except self if or 10 seconds if you jump ove wicket 40 | |
|
Greengold |
| NEW RULE!! anyone wearing a hat has to pay lots of fun points. | |
|
yay |
| eating potatoes with bread | |
|
Ethan |
| I have to steel the other persons flag! | |
|
Bob |
| the score is now: MAX_INT | |
|
hey |
| the score is now: 100 | |
|
sree |
| play dota | |
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jax |
| NEW RULE!! no hat | |
|
A |
| Take a Drink | |
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Jonathan |
| runs through the "no song" zone and into the "no-calvin" sector. | |
|
doodle |
| do a wiggle | |
|
faggot |
| die to the die to die to the die | |
|
Jimmy neutron |
| the score is now: Jimmy to neutron | |
|
Linz |
| the score is now: 75 | |
|
Greengold |
| the score is now: 2 Giraffes - Cactus | |
|
Greengold |
| As your hatred grows, your score grows as well. | |
|
betterave |
| My hatred for myself slowly grows | |
|
mickey |
| but because you stepped in a Trap Zone you have to sit in the Box of Unending Shame. | |
 |
Julie |
| I steal the Prison Flag and am awarded a Get Out of Jail Free card. | |
|
mickey |
| NEW RULE!! All stupid war related rules are now punishable by 300000 electric pushups. | |
|
Bill |
| NEW GAME!!!!!!! I WIN!!!!!!! Hi Mickey | |
|
becky |
| A butterfly! All players must take a break from the game and try to catch it. I call a Butterfly Break! | |
|
Griffen |
| I send a nuke. Btw hi ben | |
 |
Greengold |
| A hedgehog touched Stupendous Man with the Arkansas flag. Stupendous Man is now out of the game due to germs. | |
 |
Vanir |
| NEW RULE!! And because a team has reached 25, all players must switch sides. | |
|
Vanir |
| the score is now: ctrl to 25 | |
|
Vanir |
| I touch the largest sunflower and am awarded cactus points. All other players have to run 4 triangles around the nearest radish while singing the stupendous man song. | |
|
billy |
| the score is now: flump to -k | |
|
billy |
| NEW RULE!! while holding your nose, you sneeze and blow your shoes off. M1/2 points to all other players. | |
|
billy |
| NEW RULE!! while holding your nose, you sneeze and blow your shoes off. M1/2 points to all other players. | |
|
mickey |
| but because i held my nose, the zone is invalid and you must sing the im so sorry song | |
 |
sumtin |
| i put down a no song zone | |
|
spiff |
| i duplicate the flag (rip it in half). | |
|
other guy |
| the score is now: 54367367.goddls to 5.gugye | |
|
Stupendous man |
| NEW RULE!! time wickets double your score | |
|
magic |
| do magic | |
|
Ajit Pai |
| the score is now: 43 | |
|
amira |
| hop around while playing tennis | |
|
Nivlac |
| I kick the ball into a tree, the next person has to run around a tree before they continue playing! | |
|
calvin |
| the score is now: 14 to 76teen | |
|
awesome |
| NEW RULE!! if you touch calvin shout I'm better than calvin 14 times | |
|
Calvin |
| Run Fast | |
|
Notker |
| notker resets the server. Games ends for everyone. | |
|
Notker |
| notker runs | |
|
Also An Idiot |
| NEW RULE!! NEW RULE!!! Anybody in the "no-calvin" sector gets three points! | |
 |
An Idiot |
| the score is now: The score is now Oogy to Boogy! | |
 |
susie |
| Ok here you go! | |
|
calvin |
| This is a poem do what you are told dump this water over my head and do it A.S.A.P | |
|
susie |
| Oh look here comes calvin. | |
|
hobbes |
| the score is now: still Q to 12! | |
|
calvin |
| Fine but I'm in the no song zone | |
|
Hobbes |
| But i hit you with the calvinball so put the flag back | |
|
calvin |
| I stole the flag! | |
|
mickey |
| I protest idiocy. Points awarded to anyone who isnt an idiot. | |
|
mickey |
| I protest idiocy. Points awarded to anyone who isnt an idiot. | |
|
AName |
| Roll a dice | |
|
Calv |
| NEW RULE!! Only 10 rules allowed | |
|
insaner_poser |
| the score is now: 0 to susie. I AM IN THE NO SUSIE ZONE | |
|
Calvin |
| BOB STOLE PENALTY FLAG. 500,000,000 Qs and 12s SUBTRACTED! | |
|
calvin |
| NEW RULE!! There are no rules. Everyone can play freely. | |
|
calvin |
| THE SCORE is still Q to 12! | |
|
calvin |
| the score is now: oogy to boogy | |
|
calvin |
| the score is now: oogy to boogy | |
|
Mark |
| the score is now: foo to 45 | |
|
calvin |
| NEW RULE!! No rules. | |
|
Calvin |
| the score is now: Sally Brown to Sanic | |
|
Calvin |
| He finds a potty | |
|
Calvin |
| NEW RULE!! Anyone who has used the potty loses points. | |
|
Adolf |
| Adolf burns the jews | |
|
Adolf |
| Adolf kills everyone | |
|
Adolf |
| Adolf takes the flag | |
|
Batman |
| I blast myself | |
|
Donald Duck |
| Space Man Spiff calls hacks and blasts you into another game. | |
|
mickey |
| NEW GAME!!!!!! | |
|
mickey |
| the paradox causes a rip in the space time continuem ending the game. | |
|
Batman |
| the score is now: reff to good calls | |
|
Batman |
| I stab him | |
|
mickey |
| you break out right into a guard's fist. | |
|
Batman |
| I bribe him i brake out | |
|
mickey |
| But you ran through the no fly zone so you get deported to the eternal time out zone. | |
|
Batman |
| I score now i run three octagons around the nearest orange eggplant. | |
|
Batman |
| i fly | |
|
mickey |
| NEW RULE!! The next person who score has to run three octagons around the nearest orange eggplant. | |
|
Donald Duck |
| the score is now: Female To TURTLE DOVES | |
|
Ainsley |
| the score is now: coffee to latte | |
|
Bo |
| NEW RULE!! Go to mangos and run in triangles | |
|
Donald Duck |
| NEW RULE!! Anyone whose name was at some point a planet Has to stop playing unless they can make it to the fortress of solitude in 20 seconds. | |
|
Batman |
| ! I had a lunch meeting with superman and he lasered Mikey he is out of the game. | |
|
Batman |
| NEW RULE!! I had a lunch meeting with superman and he lasered Mikey he is out of the game. | |
|
mickey |
| All players are instantly engulfed in a cloud of birds thinking you are a worm. Pluto is out of the game for a hospital trip. | |
|
pluto |
| NEW RULE!! You have to move like a worm | |
|
mickey |
| I wave the Rolling Rodent Flag. Everyone must roll on the ground to move. | |
|
pluto |
| NEW RULE!! no rules | |
|
pluto |
| the score is now: to square | |
|
pluto |
| the score is now: pineapple | |
|
pluto |
| NEW RULE!! if you say pop make a 5 page essay to why you say pop | |
|
mickey |
| NEW RULE!! Unless you are a Northern Overlord, in which case you MUST say pop. | |
|
pluto |
| NEW RULE!! All player must say soda instead of pop | |
|
mickey |
| NEW RULE!! The first person to get the orange flag up to the top of the paradigm tree will be awarded the Golden Mallet | |
|
Donald Duck |
| NEW RULE!! Only crab walk through the no stupid rules zone | |
|
pluto |
| NEW RULE!! All players put a garbege bin over their head. | |
|
mickey |
| NEW RULE!! All players must wear a beanbag chair hat. | |
|
mickey |
| NEW RULE!! No STUPID rules. Im talking to you h. | |
|
h |
| wat wat in the butt | |
|
fghf |
| fghf lol | |
|
aahu |
| Play golf with the president | |
|
Harbz |
| the score is now: pants to muttonchops | |
|
hobbes. |
| NEW RULE!! all players must punch themselves on the head before playing | |
|
abhi |
| fight to the death | |
|
bob |
| the score is now: UMP - Bump | |
|
bob |
| You stole the PENALTY FLAG! 50,000 Q's subracted from your score. | |
|
bob the blob |
| steel flag | |
|
bob |
| the score is now: Turtles to ∆ | |
|
bob |
| Passing through the aromatic score zone, I SCORE!! | |
|
bob |
| Olli-wolli polly-woggy ump bump fizz! I steal your flag! | |
|
bob |
| NEW RULE!! Rebels are allowed. | |
|
Matthew |
| NEW RULE!! No rule can inflict pain on anyone. | |
|
bob |
| The hobby horse trips and is hobbled, crippled, lame. It can't walk. | |
|
Calvin |
| I run to the Bonus Box and grab the hobby horse! | |
|
Rosalyn |
| the score is now: Well, you know I have the Calvinball! I award myself 50 points. | |
|
Goomba Shoe |
| I leap over sector 12, and push you into the The "Pernicious Poem Place"! | |
|
bob |
| NEW RULE!! you must if in sector 12 sing a song | |
|
bob |
| run around | |
|
bob |
| I hop in a wheelbarrow and take off down the field with the triple-goal-ball. | |
|
bob |
| but you are in the no taco zone, so the score is 0 to 0 | |
|
Sara |
| the score is now: 0 to taco | |
|
bob |
| NEW RULE!! New Game | |
|
bob |
| NEW RULE!! All players must run backwards and tackle the calvinball in the You Must Be Airborne to Enter This Zone ZOne. | |
|
bob |
| I declare a new game. All scores reset to nil and the field is rebuilt. | |
|
bob |
| NEW RULE!! Getting a ghost-snowman third baseman home while singing the Calvinball national anthem will award you 6 billion points. | |
|
bob |
| the score is now: nick to cranny | |
|
bob |
| andrew eats too much pizza. he lands in the Puke zone and is confined there until he stopps puking. | |
|
Andrew |
| NEW RULE!! you must eat pizza | |
|
Someone |
| NEW RULE!! The old ball is now invalid and has been replaced with a rubber ducky. | |
|
bob |
| bully flag: all nerds must be punched. | |
|
bob |
| Bob runs and steals the flag. | |
|
bob |
| the score is now: Cactus-purple | |
|
bob |
| NEW RULE!! You can only dribble a football on concrete with your nose. | |
|
Matthew |
| NEW RULE!! You cannot hide in a box. | |
|
everyone |
| the score is now: 11 to 11 | |
|
John Cena |
| NEW RULE!! No More Rules | |
|
dax |
| NEW RULE!! no peeing | |
|
moggy oggy |
| take and jump on pogo stick | |
|
kol |
| the score is now: oggy to logy | |
|
Bo |
| the score is now: 11 to Q | |
|
Stupendous Man |
| NEW RULE!! No one is allowed to do anything without stupendous man's permission | |
|
Stupendous man |
| the score is now: 87 to Cheeseburger | |
|
Scout! |
| the score is now: 7 to -z | |
|
Scout! |
| he'd throw a dodge ball at benson | |
|
Scout! |
| NEW RULE!! Every time someone dodges a dodge ball he has to get himself dizzy and keep going! | |
|
calvin |
| the score is now: z to 77777 | |
|
calv |
| NEW RULE!! all tigers on two legs must dance a jig | |
|
calv |
| NEW RULE!! all tigers on two legs must dance a jig | |
|
benson |
| the score is now: 50 | |
|
simon |
| the flag that you try and capture and bring to your side making you score | |
|
Dean |
| the score is now: All players must type in reverse | |
|
moeman |
| jump when you hit the thirty yard wicket! | |
|
Calvin |
| NEW RULE!! hop on one foot when you reach the 12 yard wicket | |
|
Christopher |
| Steal the flag of the opponent | |
|
XL dirty diaper |
| NEW RULE!! Only I can make new rules | |
|
XL dirty diaper |
| You are my zombie slave | |
|
XL dirty diaper |
| the score is now: 🍩 to 🍪 | |
|
test |
| sing the anthem from san marino | |
|
Mom |
| NEW RULE!! WHO GOES TO BED FIRST GETS ONE MILLION BILLION TRILLION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
Hobbes |
| the score is now: Q to 12 | |
|
qwertyuiop |
| the score is now: Toody to boogey | |
|
Zoe |
| NEW RULE!! When you touch the 12th post with the calvinball the other player must close their eyes! | |
|
xXxCalvinxXx |
| I AM AWESOME! | |
|
xXxCalvinxXx |
| the score is now: xXxCalvinxXx name to lollipops | |
|
xXxCalvinxXx |
| NEW RULE!! Use Duplicators | |
|
xXxCalvinxXx |
| use a duplicator | |
|
Kirk |
| the score is now: Oogy to YU | |
|
Hobbes |
| NEW RULE!! All players must hop on one foot while holding a flag | |
|
ben1 |
| NEW RULE!! anybody without the name ben1 has to crawl | |
|
bob |
| NEW RULE!! lose a point if you gain a point | |
|
CoolDownCheater |
| NEW RULE!! Anyone standing Near Ben Must Sing The PLayerPain Song! | |
|
UR MOMMY |
| I LIKE THE PUSSY AND DICK | |
|
Ben |
| NEW RULE!! Any one not named ben has to hop on one foot | |
|
Blaine |
| Throw Ball | |
|
calvin |
| rapes hobbes | |
|
derpys |
| NEW RULE!! you cant touch the tree | |
|
kolby |
| NEW RULE!! you have to hope to win to win | |
|
I love wanking and fucking |
| NEW RULE!! Everyone must now masturbate | |
|
you guys are all bitches |
| I fuck everyone in sight | |
|
fuck |
| the score is now: 3ninersubmarine | |
|
kkkkkkkkkkk |
| the score is now: 200000000 | |
|
Max |
| the score is now: Omega to Q3A | |
|
The Calvinball |
| the score is now: Seventy-twelve to M and a half. | |
|
Alejandro |
| NEW RULE!! Everyone must give me 1 dollar. | |
|
Susie |
| Aaaaaaaahh!!! AH ThHUMP! | |
|
Hobbes |
| Not if I get you first! Arrrggghhh! | |
|
Stupendous man AKA calvin |
| Prepare to be stupended! | |
|
Stupendous man AKA calvin |
| All players must bow down to me and pass over their flags! | |
|
Vanessa |
| NEW RULE!! You have to spin around 50 times if you betray me | |
|
Susie Derkins |
| NEW RULE!! People with spiky hair have to hug Mr. Bun! | |
|
bryson |
| NEW RULE!! all players must hop on there noses | |
|
Nyanko |
| AIO-JUMP! | |
|
brad |
| the score is now: q to 12 | |
|
Mitch |
| I take the flag and eat it | |
|
arhenius |
| Go to bed | |
|
Finley |
| steal flag | |
|
Finley |
| Stealing Flags | |
|
Rowan |
| punch Hobbes | |
|
Harmohit |
| the score is now: 11 | |
|
mmm |
| run to first base | |
|
Jillian |
| the score is now: Q-12 | |
|
zeal |
| NEW RULE!! Sigh on people's face when they speak!! | |
|
devyani |
| Kick and jump | |
|
Natsu_Dragneel |
| NEW RULE!! You have to hop on 1 foot when you reach the "no song zone. | |
|
Paul |
| Make it past the fifth wicket. | |
|
hobbes |
| flag play | |
|
hmmm |
| YOU DIDN'T TOUCH THE PARTY PLACE. DO 300 PUSHUPS! | |
|
JP |
| the score is now: 42 to pi | |
|
joe |
| roll a dice | |
|
zdgsdgsx |
| the score is now: dgdgd | |
|
Ana |
| Vreau acasa la mine | |
|
Scott |
| NEW RULE!! Whenever someone says something pirate-y, that someone must stop what they're doing and touch their toes! | |
|
marius |
| NEW RULE!! jump 360`s whenever someone laughs | |
|
Tobias |
| NEW RULE!! every player except me has to do 10 pushups immediately. | |
|
bob |
| the score is now: O | |
|
calvinman |
| runs from one corner of the universe to the other.. | |
|
troll man |
| the score is now: vamos z a 8000 | |
|
ooooo |
| capturo la badera | |
|
troll man |
| La bandera vale 8000 puntos | |
|
troll man |
| the score is now: vamos z a 146763345233 | |
|
troll man |
| NEW RULE!! TODOS DEBEN ESCRIBIR SOLO EN MAYUSCULAS | |
|
sarah |
| play with calvin | |
|
sarah |
| play with calvin | |
|
Boo |
| throw ball | |
|
chewy |
| NEW RULE!! no one else can declare a new rule! | |
|
kim |
| I love calvinball!! | |
|
hobbes |
| i wanna play in action. | |
|
calvin |
| 12 34 | |
|
calvin |
| kick butt | |
|
ZombieMom |
| NEW RULE!! Monday is triple points! | |
|
Coyote |
| NEW RULE!! Poetry corner is now out of bounds | |
 |
insaner |
| the score is now: 20 billion points for everyone. | |
|
andrew |
| capturing it | |
|
Kitty |
| The Tutu Flag of Doom! | |
|
amtm |
| the score is now: 3 chocolate eclairs Ha ha! | |
|
amtm |
| AND EVERY ONE WAS A HENRY. HENRY! ....oh! Look what I found in my pocket! *throws a water balloon at fort* | |
|
fort |
| Someone bring me a water balloon, quick! | |
|
fort |
| (SHE'S BEEN MARRIED SEVEN TIMES BEFORE) | |
|
fort |
| the score is now: 8 | |
|
amtm |
| I'M KING HENRY THE EIGHTH, I AM, HENRY THE EIGHTH, I AM, I AM I GOT MARRIED TO THE WIDOW NEXT DOOR. SHE'S.. | |
|
dug |
| Grabs the water balloon and runs away | |
|
amtm |
| NEW RULE!! Everyone who doesn't currently have a water ballon in their hands must climb inside the bathrub and sing "I'm King Henry the 8th" until a player with a water balloon happens by.. | |
|
dward |
| score point by hitting ball with ping pong paddle | |
|
Biz |
| the score is now: 100 | |
|
Zigmog |
| throw ball into tree branches | |
|
CT |
| drop the ball | |
|
Diana |
| go fishing | |
|
DAVID |
| NEW RULE!! everyone who does not play calvinball will fart | |
|
David |
| lava melts people | |
|
miaow |
| NEW RULE!! pound the living daylights out of your computer | |
|
miaow |
| throw water balloons at everyone except sean and dad | |
|
sean |
| the score is now: poop and pee | |
|
dad |
| yell at your son | |
|
sean |
| donate both kidneys wait 5 secs die | |
|
gaby |
| the score is now: jiggler to figgler | |
|
Hobbes |
| NEW RULE!! pounce on your boss | |
|
surabhi |
| make eggplant faces | |
|
Jim |
| NEW RULE!! Hop on one foot | |
|
Michal |
| Explode the pelvis of Courtney Love | |
|
calv |
| run like a maniac | |
|
mf |
| the score is now: Me 1, You 0 | |
|
oli |
| double rackets for double points | |
|
boogy |
| NEW RULE!! Who ever "smelt it, dealt it" | |
|
sam |
| enables anyone to go to penalty zone | |
|
oogy |
| hit a watermelon with a tennis racket | |
|
moe joe |
| beats everyone up.. and takes their lunch money | |
|
Captain Calvin |
| flag of freezing, all players who's name doesn't start with Captain of have the calvinball must freeze like a statue. | |
|
Elia |
| the score is now: 5 for elia | |
|
insaner |
| the score is now: 5points to everyone EXCEPT elia! | |
|
Elia |
| hit | |
|
insaner |
| let the new calvinball begin!! |
| Bryan |
| hockey |
| Littlered |
| Annihilate |
| dave |
| New Rule: everyone must walk backward in slow motion for 30 seconds after a score |
| Mary |
| I FOUND THE BONUS ZONE! Everyone else has to either lose 30 points or get hit with the Calvinball! Scores stand at infinity-times-two to squid. |
| tomy boy |
| yoddle |
| Joseph |
| make a decree for 3 seconds |
| molly |
| growl |
| kyle |
| NEW RULE you must jump on one foot while reciting the preamble to the constitution of the united states |
| joy |
| ahaaaaaa |
| Hello |
| New Rule you must ask someone to push you off a building or lose 999999 pts |
| Hello |
| NEW RULE you must hit yourself on the head and fall off a cliff! |
| Hobbes rules! |
| new rule if you toutch the G.R.O.S.S tree house you have to ware a oficall hat |
| Hobbes rules! |
| say hobbes gose to colage to get more knowlage calvin is stupeder |
| Hobbes rules! |
| new rule:hobbes always gos first |
| Calvin_Boy |
| Touchdown!!! |
| NubNub |
| Oh I just read the stuff...YAY! I'm in the opposite zone! Tuth9 you have to sing the "Im very sorry" song and get soaked...I'll be happy to do it by the way... |
| NubNub |
| WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPOSE TO DO?!? |
| Tuth9 |
| *New Rule* All who are in any zone must sing the "I'm very sorry song" and must go to someone and beg them to pour a bucket of freezing cold water on them |
| Shrike |
| Killing somebody |
| Alex |
| playing |
| Yinhui |
| Playing calvinball |
| Jen |
| boo |
| ari |
| crazy for Hobbes |
| hi |
| play |
| eric |
| Walking |
| Bud |
| Run |
| Silence |
| *NEW RULE* All players must bow to whomever is in front of them before moving on! |
| insaner |
| *resets the score* get ready to play a renewed calvinball!!!! |
| zach |
| push |
| Steve |
| Spin |
| Anonymous |
| *NEW RULE* If someone disobeys a rule, they have to sing the "I'm very sorry" song except it's not about flags, and then get 5 points taken away. |
| joel |
| growl |
| Sonya |
| air ski! |
| özgür özdemir |
| dig |
| Kevin Powers |
| astao |
| sfhskdhkfh |
| *NEW RULE*Anyone in the secret zone has to tell an embarrasing secret! |
| boib |
| jhcbgjszhbv |
| astao |
| jump |
| Stalker |
| swing low |
| billy |
| Eyeball just entered the revolution zone. He has to spin around until he barfs and then smack him with the flag to get him out. |
| eyeball |
| nice songyidy song bong tong kong long |
| insanerisme |
| humdy humdy humdy hum i smell a little bitty one oh its a bum for being a bum you must sing the song oh oh oh even if it takes you long |
| Calvin |
| hmmm... havent played in a while just wanted to say hello |
| marco g |
| Since I've entered the no corollary zone, I get to make a decree. I pick the flag and sing the i'm sorry song. |
| jujujuj |
| get out |
| jijijiji |
| again where complain now its the ball which is not working |
| jejeje |
| where can i complain, this calvin is not working |
| jajajja |
| tried again to play calvinball |
| jojojojo |
| wanted to play calvinball |
| tro |
| play calvinball |
| Some Little Boy Somewhere |
| yea um i put the f word the s word and the b word in my recent comment i guess they cannot be used but yae um thats what my comment starts with |
| Some Little Boy Somewhere |
| Just a few of the words that are used in this world as "Cuss Words", how they got these names I do not know, to me it is plain out GAY, um yea it's just like someone saying the word "duck". Quack! Quack! Quack! |
| Calvin-Girl |
| Ryan-It seems as if we are the on;y ones for a couple of days who actually want to engage in a game... shame shame... |
| Ryan |
| Ahhh... yes I do |
| Calvin-Girl |
| James Westfall- the score hrmmm Ryan whats the score... do you still have Q??? |
| James Westfall |
| Good thing I'm not then, now really, whats the score |
| Calvin-Girl |
| Oh yea I forgot to put "new Rule" |
| Calvin-Girl |
| If playing and you are a 'Ryan' you have to give in to anything commmanded by a opposing player...if you want... I guees I'll be a bit nice. |
| Ryan |
| You do that |
| Calvin-Girl |
| Yea probably but I'm going to let myslef feel good about it... |
| Ryan |
| I let you win |
| Calvin-Girl |
| Finally... ahhh it feels so good... |
| Ryan |
| Heres the very sorry soooong won't you help me sing along (Delaney) I blew it, I knew it I'm very sorry I did whatever I did. |
| Calvin-Girl |
| And if you don'y I'll find some way to make you... but how to beat a master... |
| Calvin-Girl |
| The song... again... but wait I touched the reverse pole so you sing it now. |
| Ryan |
| Now sing the friggin song |
| Ryan |
| Yeah you thieving Barstids |
| Calvin-Girl |
| Being the real Calvin-Girl I declare that only me and Ryan shall play in the current game... well actually anyone can play just don't steal names... maybe make your own... :) |
| Calvin-Girl |
| I shall not hit you over the head (reversing my speach( with a Tennis raquet and make you forget it all and give me your extreme goodness at the game... well if only |
| Ryan |
| Seriously, quit it |
| Ryan |
| Just don't do it again you something scalawag |
| Calvin-Girl |
| man man man... beating a master musn't come easy dang you Ryan. Here's the very sorry songg won't you help me sing along (Ryan) I blew it I knew it I'm very sorry I well did waht I did. *while hopping through Park Place* |
| Ryan |
| But I had already touched the backwards pole, so now its frontwards and you need to sing the song while hopping through Park Place |
| Calvin-Girl |
| because*** |
| Calvin-Girl |
| Which states that I have Q points beasue I touched the reverse pole... he he he or you could just sing the osrry dong for me... |
| Ryan |
| OLLY-WOGGY POLIWOGGY UMP, BUMP, FUZZ! I now have Q points. |
| Ryan |
| Just don't do it again you something scalawag |
| Calvin-Girl |
| Here's the very sorry songg won't you help me sing along (Ryan) I blew it I knew it I'm very sorry I scored on your precious wicket. |
| Ryan |
| I just scored on my own wicket, but its still reversed so you have to sing the very sorry song. |
| Calvin-Girl |
| yes those dang trees they like shrinkisise... word??? |
| Ryan |
| Whats the score? |
| Ryan |
| Damn straight, now I've got to avoid the trees |
| Calvin-Girl |
| and a song... man ... |
| Calvin-Girl |
| Backwards... dang it I'm going to get you... |
| Ryan |
| AND I was in the End zone so you've got to sing a Door song whilst you do it |
| Ryan |
| I touched the reverse pole so now you've got to do it all backwards. |
| Calvin-Girl |
| disco all the way to first... or maybe even second |
| bastich |
| pogo on a buttscrew till you 'round the third melon hole |
| pwsfddc |
| ewfwrwegtfffff |
| Brian |
| Anyone who hits the ball with a tennis raquet gets 5 free get out of jail bonus points |
| Brittany |
| Watch porn |
| Slash |
| fell |
| wald |
| ... |
| pooie8 |
| stand still |
| wintershorts |
| *runs in shorts till the snow has all melted* |
| Awsomeburger |
| feed me? |
| Calvinball King |
| I can use the calvin ball to do anything |
| Hobbes |
| play |
| Hobbes |
| run |
| NU |
| new rule: any zone with a tree in it is now called 'hey you!' |
| hobbes |
| run to base |
| john |
| run |
| King Arthur |
| hey |
| gv |
| hey |
| gv |
| goalie |
| Blake |
| DIE |
| Audrey |
| male players must kiss the girls. (I'll get you,Duderocks!) |
| Audrey |
| new rule |
| joking |
| kick |
| insaner |
| *gives all players 20 insaner points* |
| fafw |
| fwafwaf |
| Duderocks |
| "*NEW RULE*" All female players must strip down and dance. |
| Wendy |
| dance |
| Hacker |
| Hello? |
| Hacker |
| sean, u are on the Hacker's order zone!!!!!! |
| Hacker |
| Hit aall players |
| Hacker |
| Take ball from Mary |
| sean |
| *NEW RULE* roll |
| sean |
| roll |
| Mary |
| Ping pong with shoes at the mall |
| bla |
| bla |
| J.D. |
| Beware Calvinsaurus is coming to town |
| daniel |
| gv |
| calvin |
| as my name is calvin and this is calvin ball i declare myself supreme dictator of this game and this land is now called calvinlotte. i win automatically who wants a new game |
| Angel |
| kicks |
| anonymous |
| ehe... EHE! |
| nameless |
| a good day means to kill |
| cath9000 |
| when you get to the tennis zone the first person to hit someone with a tennis ball gets 15 Bs |
| cath9000 |
| *"NEW RULE*"boomerang zone |
| gg |
| um |
| Jordan |
| I take my zpfmgb worm and throw it at the wicket, (7^hobbes) points!! |
| matt |
| jump |
| biffer |
| booop |
| buzzboy |
| splat |
| chris |
| bla |
| Breacher |
| First I slip on the official Calvinball mask, and then yell "Q to Ten! 3RD wicket scored!" |
| Gem |
| splat |
| crash |
| is in the polar opposite zone, gets triple everyone else's points, plus five |
| jim |
| hop |
| mathan |
| hop |
| jasper |
| Duck |
| Riovanes |
| I touched the All Players tree with the Chris Carrabba flag! Everyone has to stand in place and feel bad ... until somebody hits you with the calvinball! *BONK* |
| jejejejejej |
| 4wljfe;jfl;r |
| dolus |
| jump |
| thomas |
| throw ball |
| thomas |
| toes |
| TakingBackNolan |
| Runs around in circles "AWESOME 200 points for symmetrical use of the Earth's gravitational field!" |
| Jeffrey the giant |
| i scored! |
| Daniel Eth |
| *New Rule* Hobbes wins |
| Daniel Eth |
| And Calvin catches the snitch: 150 points to Hufflepuff! Slitherine (Rimes with Hobbes's team [and is Hobbes's team]) wins! Hooooorayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Daniel Eth |
| (Hobbes) Weeeeeeeee. I get 10 points |
| Daniel Eth |
| Hobbes hits Calvin with the Calvinball |
| Diegator |
| i spelled the name in invisible ink (its actually an HTML code that makes writing invisible) i get the 999,999,999,99-whatever points |
| ryannhimself |
| *NEW RULE* If you can spell the name of Calvin's crush, you get 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999, points. |
| ryaanhimself |
| everyone with the name ryaanhimself gets 500 points |
| otter swatter |
| NEE! |
| otter swatter |
| We shall say NEE again to you if you do not appease us. |
| otter swatter |
| *NEW RULE*...All stray weenie dogs must be pursued stealthily under each wicket unless, of course, you happen to be in the Weasel Whiffing Zone whereupon weenie dogs are pursued oppositely by not pursuing them but, instead, all ferrets at large must be hunted down and stuffed into a gunny sack at a point rate of .0004 Flognarts per unit. |
| Whitney |
| I have the flag of insanity! I automatically get twentey z's! |
| rich |
| bark |
| Booga the Bomb |
| I hate Soda IHATE cHEESE U HAvE BReath JUST LIKE YODA |
| diegator-poser |
| falls down |
| Diegator |
| anyone who is insaner must run backwards in circles |
| matt dumler |
| i want to play |
| Matt Dumler |
| *NEW RULE* YOU MUST TOUCH ALL THE WICKETS! |
| Calvin Dumler |
| calvin |
| cody |
| throw ball |
| Mike |
| Jump |
| dictator for life calvin |
| i declare bishop a poophead!!!! |
| Calvin |
| other kids games are all a bore... they gotta have rules, they gotta keep score... calvinball is better by far... its never the same,its always bizzar... you dont need teams, or a reffery... you know that its great 'cause its named after me!... if you wanna... |
| cal 2 |
| whose plaing |
| cal 2 |
| ant ran in the bakwards zone! Start singing! |
| daniel |
| get calvinball |
| ryaanhimself |
| 500 points for playing so late in the game |
| Ant |
| New Rule Everybody has to sing 5 verses of Tigers Rule |
| ROger |
| bonking |
| joey |
| says "blah" while touching the blah post- there by resetting all scores to zero |
| desmond |
| eats what comes to her and then throws it up and gets 300 points |
| small vagina |
| killer |
| BISHOP |
| *NEW RULE* ALL AMENDMENTS OR POINTS EARNED THROUGH GAMEPLAY WHICH HAVE BEEN CARRIED OUT BY ANY OTHER PLAYERS, ARE HERBY OBSOLETE AND VOID, HENCEFORTH ONLY THE POINTS EARNED AND THE AMMENDMENTS MADE BY THE PLAYER TITLED UNDER THE ALIAS "BISHOP" SHALL HAVE ANY BEARING WHATSOEVER. THIS DOCtrINE HAS BEEN APPROVED BY THE SOLE DICTATOR FOR LIFE, CALVIN, IT IS NOT SUBJECT TO FURTHER AMMENDMENT NOR MAY IT BE DELETED OR CHANGED BY ANY PLAYER IN THE ENTIRETY OF FURTHER GAMEPLAY. |
| Maria |
| jump 3 times |
| insaner_poser |
| *runs behind insaner stealing every point he gets* |
| insaner |
| *races across all of www.insaner.com picking up the hidden points* |
| peter |
| kicks lord_alex in the nuts |
| Lord_Alex |
| Lord_Alex gets 19.6 points for stealing Senor Funky's pants. |
| Senor Funky |
| Being the omnipotent fellow I am, I notice I needed some points so I have them. 20 points!!! I also want some pants. 20 pants!!! |
| funky smonky |
| You have to dance and sing if your opentent gets the flag |
| funky monky |
| When you oponent wins you have to make a song up about them (a good song) and dance for them. |
| Supreme Ruler |
| If the flag touches you, you must sing in gibberish |
| Shinobi |
| Eats Bagel : 20 points |
| twocalorieevil |
| attack |
| twocalorieevil |
| none |
| shaolinmonk |
| i do a jonah lomu and run round everyone wit the tennis ball in hand doing somersaults over the obstacles and then i touchdown and win 500 points to me and everyone has to sin the im very sorry song |
| becca |
| summersault |
| Asha |
| *stumbles into the perimiter of wisdom and forces everyone but me to sit down and discuss the ethics of calvinball* 20points to me! |
| chrischa |
| letŽs play a ball |
| Chuck |
| Opposite zone wasn't declared by being not declared. William creates a Calvinball paradox and ceases to exist. Waffle points for Chuck! |
| Jack |
| NEW RULE: Calvin"MASTUR"ball"BATOR": Everyone must play with themselves for 20 min. 78 and 1/2 points every time you score. |
| JuneCleaverhausen |
| stop, drop , and roll... goes for the ball |
| insaner |
| YEAH!!! twenty dill points for me for fixing calvin ball!! |
| William |
| declare the opposite zone! everyone now loses points instead of gaining them and vice versa |
| Alex |
| Burns rule book and transmogrifies into an Extending arm and grab the calvinballand tag all players and they all have to sing the i love you song |
| calvin |
| oops the point thing |
| calvin |
| new rule! if you fall down you lose 50 points sonic boom potion makes everybody fall down sonic boom! |
| Calvin |
| whack somebody with tennis racket |
| steven |
| null |
| Lara |
| punching |
| addis |
| kick |
| b* |
| *NEW RULE* all points are reversed! |
| Smell-O-Vision |
| Uses pepper spray on all his opponent, hitting the volleyball into the rabbit hole with a monkey wrench! SCORE 100^Q points!!! |
| nxxf |
| look |
| Walknuki |
| New Rule! Those failing to run from the red to cyan zones are transmografied into the cola of their choosing. |
| Jed |
| takes the ball into the song zone, any one who gets tagged while not sing ing has to sing the sorry song. |
| insaner_poser |
| *runs over to fix up the calvinball script..* |
| aaron |
| Diegator |
| Freezes time (or pretends he is) anyone moving, looses 3 points, the on who holds still for the most time steals the points from the first person that moved |
| Edge |
| kick |
| hari |
| ailo |
| aialo |
| takes again the ball and kicks it 100 yards far |
| dave |
| running backwards, i tackle the ball and pass the Z wicket, meaning everone must hop |
| aialo |
| kick a ball |
| uxu |
| uxu |
| Magus |
| No more point system! any one who tries to bring it back must be silent. |
| god |
| kick ball |
| jew |
| run |
| Smores |
| Everyone jumped into the chatroom sector, so you have to talk your heads off until you get tired, and the only way to get out of the chatroom sector, is if i bonk you all with the calvinball.Now i get a point for each of you.The score is forward to left. |
| addison |
| buster |
| Buster |
| *NEW RULE* Everyone with two or more legs must run backwards until they fall over. |
| insaner |
| *runs up to gorfus and yells something about economics* 20 points for everyone due to economies of scale!!! |
| Gorfus |
| Spin around for 20 minutes |
| Buster |
| All players with melted toffey in their posession must stand on thier heads for 8 seconds. Failure to do so result in a loss of 3 to the coke bottle points. |
| Lkas66 |
| left |
| hobbes |
| poem zone |
| Allenblake |
| *new rule* Everyone who isn't playing Calvinball really is and I get their points. |
| ~MAYNARD~ |
| KICK |
| jinx |
| im not sure |
| supper hobbes |
| turtle zone you must run slowly until you reach the racket of shame whoever reaches it last gets to use it on the other players |
| insaner_poser |
| steals all the points awarded and kindly donates them to the poor kids all over the world |
| insaner |
| *new rule!* as soon as i set up accounts and memberships.. only those who login will be able to post!! and 20 points to all those wearing blue underpants!! |
| insaner |
| *new rule!* as soon as i set up accounts and memberships.. only those who login will be able to post!! and 20 points to all those wearing blue underpants!! |
| Dan |
| Grabs the abandoned Calvinball and uses it to tag the timefracture-slowmotion gooooooaaaaalllll...oooggggiiitttyyy pppoooiiinnntttsss... |
| Rich |
| up |
| Holly |
| go go go |
| (f)x5 |
| Runs all the way to susie's house and hits her with the wicket |
| Juan |
| energy blast |
| (a)x10 |
| lands on the field and pulls pants down |
| ljlkj |
| hit |
| Tim_poser |
| *runs to wicket area and chants: "ooh look at me i dont know how to play!!"* |
| insaner |
| NEW RULE!!! 20 points off to all dummy submitters!! |
| Tim |
| shawn |
| insaner_poser |
| NEW RULE!!! tights will count as a valid form of pants!! |
| insaner |
| all girls MUST wear pants to play calvinball!!! failure to comply will lead to immediate expulsion to the girl zone closest to the player! and a deduction of phi q points and a water balloon to the head!! |
| Cotter |
| *continues phrase* "you are on your way to the G.R.O.S.S. tree house and will be deducted 10 points if entering without signed permission. If enterer is a slimy girl she will lose all points." |
| insaner |
| *B.O.B.'s all players and runs to opposite zone* 2 points to continuer of phrase: "you are on the way to..." and 2 to the e pi q points to &BOB; for B.O.B.'ing of people.. and e to the x repeating where x is the third root of 2 points to cotter for being a cotter... |
| Cotter |
| Captures all remaning wickets and runs to the blue endzone. |
| B.O.B |
| NEW RULE!! 37 points for BOB'ing while playing for at least 5 minutes. 43 points for doing it while singing a song |
| calvin |
| *hops in with a broken pogo stick* NEW RULE! all those who jump in on broken pogo sticks must bow and yield 5 brown autumn leaves! |
| insaner |
| *hops aboard a badminton racket and captures all red flags in area t-21, beyond the forbidden marshes* |
| another random person |
| *grabs the broken pelvis and runs to yellow wicket area* |
| biggie |
| roses are red violets are blue let me play so i can beat you |
| biggie |
| *puts on mask and runs to blue wicket area* write the sound of a burp or get a broken pelvis |
| random person |
| *puts on mask* *runs to blue wicket area* NEW RULE!! all who cross the blue wicket area must recite a small poem or lose 5q points!!! |
| insaner |
| 20 points for starting calvinball!!! |
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