myblog -february '$YEAR2

Friday, February 28, 2003

[20:50:10]

bush's proof to attack iraq

Thursday, February 27, 2003

[5:17:40]

my eyes are going to fall off!! i need to SLEEP! i NEED IT! *starts tapping randomly on keys*

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

[20:30:59]

haha, "great"! i had this long post written up, but since i was watchin g tv while i wrote it, it prolly wasnt going to make much sense.. so i left it without posting.. and actually forgot about it.. and now my browser crashed and cleared what i had written.. hahahh. *shrugs* ohh well..

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

[23:34:27]

ohh insanity! they just censored tatu's performance on the jay leno show!! hahahahah!!! stupid girls being all manipulated by their stupid manager into doing messed up crap.. yeah.. STUPID! *shakes head from side to side*

[16:27:39]

by tomorrow or thurs, my site will have accumulated a total of 70 thousand hits since last since last year... and im not making a single dime off them... pfft...

Monday, February 24, 2003

[2:58:35]

[i decided to remove this image.. too big, not that funny]

[0:42:37]

[i decided to remove this image.. too big, not that funny]

Sunday, February 23, 2003

[19:16:44]

i went out running today, man, im soo out of shape.. i prolly shouldnt have started uphill.. ugh.. i almost couldnt make it back.. i had to stop running on the way back.. (yeah, also uphill..) i was soo exhausted, i almost passed out..
in other news, i posted this to my picrave profile:

oh MAN! do i love being pleasantly surprized by people and situations.. i tend to be jaded a lot.. but i always give people the benefit of the doubt, but when they show they are different, and actually worth the air they breathe, well then my whole day lights up in joy!

[0:51:11]

*is watching "driven".. which could possibly be the stupidest movie ever!!!!*

[0:51:11]

chocolate? yes please!

Friday, February 21, 2003

[0:23:14]

*hasnt slept since yet... *

Thursday, February 20, 2003

[11:14:50]

have you ever been at odds with someone, (ie, not on good terms with them) and expected them to do something for you, and then been upset when they didnt do it? well, such is the case with GOD. if you dont believe in HIM, if you dont have a relationshipt with HIM, if you dont do anything for HIM, why the HELL should you expect him to do anything for you??? "i dont believe in GOD because 'what has HE ever done for me?'" "i dont believe in GOD because he hasnt shown me any signs of HIS existence.." a) why should HE do anything for someone so bent on antagonizing HIM?? b) what else do you need as proof for HIS existence, considering your own existence, the presence of the world and all the rest of creation! you think it all just "made itself"?? not even the big bang theory can subsist without GOD, the creator! you see, science backs up the bible, we have just chosen to forcibly divide them, and hence, one cant make sense without the other, so we in this manner, punch holes in each.. therefore rendering one (or both) senseless to us. now, if you choose to ignore the presence of GOD, despite all the (scientific) proof, fine, thats your GOD-given choice. but when you deny HIS existence and effect in our lives, do NOT expect HIM to go out of HIS way to "prove" his existance to little ol' unbeliever you.. if the bible isnt enough, and its being scientifically proven (historically, etc..) isnt enough.. then holy geeze, you are impossible!
when you are odds with someone, you cant expect them to do anything for you. just as you wouldnt expect your estranged father to suddenly give you a call to show you he cares about you, you cant expect GOD to create an all out supernatural event just to convince you of HIS existance. why not? because, what would happen after HE does so? would you even believe it then? NO!!! you would just try to explain it away, "man, i took some bad acid during the 80s.." "i was prolly drunk that night.." "i dreamt that.. " and even if you do believe it... would you change your life around? would you seek HIS company? would you want to establish a relationship with HIM? of COURSE NOT!!! you wouldnt want to leave the "joy" of your alcoholism, the "pleasure" of your adultery and fornication, the bliss of your ignorance and the comfort of your laziness. if you cant change now, in faith, so as to THEN see HIM in all his glory.. what good would it do you to see HIM now?? if it didnt work for the people of israel in moses' time.. why, oh, WHY should it work now? now when there is soo much more evil in the world??
'should i change my life around then?' YES!
'will i see GOD if i do?' NO! you dont go to heaven by just being good, you have to have a relationship with HIM! 'how do i do that?' well, first, you recognize your foolishness now, repent, and accept jesus into your heart, you say "i accept you jesus, as my lord and savior, having paid for my sins at the cross. im sorry for my sins against you, and i will discontinue such unpleasant acts to your eyes" and thats when you change your life around.. you live it according to GOD.. how will you know you are doing so? your life will change, you will desire GOD's presence, you will want to please HIM, and HE you..
'but how can you be sure of this?' because i am living proof of it. 'have you seen GOD then?' i dont need to see GOD anymore than i need to see wind to know either of them are there, and exist, and affect things.. i have seen what has happened in my life, situations i couldnt have possibly gotten out of.. and yet, somehow, i did, unscathed, untouched.. its not coincidence, not this many times.. things being revealed to me, about the truth etc, to later see them written there.. 'should i expect that too?' no. you can expect only the unexpected, GOD will do things for you that will make you wonder and be shocked, things HE will probably not do for me as well, perhaps for nobody else but YOU.
but, just as i cant expect my father to reach out to me, if i dont reach out to him first, so it is with you and GOD. and you know, whatever terrible crap that went on between me and my dad, i still want him in my life, i still wish to have my father back. but, wanting is not 'having', wanting is not 'doing'. so unless i want to go on this way, fatherless, i must take the first step myself, and then he will be back in my life. and then i can expect him to be there for me.
please, i beg all of you, dont be stupid like i have been here.. realize, recognize you cant live your life without your father, your heavenly father, dont be stubborn. dont continue to torture yourself because of your pride, you dont know what you are missing out on.
just as reading a medical journal doesnt much make sense unless you understand medicine, you cant expect the bible to make sense if you arent an understander of GOD. how do you understand GOD? by having a relationship with HIM! how do i do that? like i said before, by accepting jesus into your heart as your only savior, by repenting for your sins, and throwing away your old, sinful life. anything else you want to understand from there, comes from simply asking.
what are you waiting for? more analogical explanations? fine, one more.
how can i expect to understand my own father's actions, unless i have an open, good relationship with him? so that i may ask him straight up "dad, why did you do that?" once explained, it would make sense, and perhaps that time he senselessly took away something precious to me would make that much more sense.
in closing, dont expect to see miracles in front of your eyes, dont expect GOD to appear to you in a flaming bush saying "look at me, here i am, i exist. now go and stop sinning" if it didnt work 3,000 years ago. start your relationship with HIM, stop hurting HIM, and let HIM enter your life. let HIM show you the marvels HE can do for you, without having to appear in a flaming bush, or couch, or whatever it is you wanted to see.
if you have any questions, write them in the guestbook or send them to me via the comments page. i will be more than glad to help.

[6:55:26]

avril is NME's sexiest woman winner!

[3:13:27]

i think i just realized today, i have never met an open minded person in my life.. there is no such thing! open-mindedness is relative to what you want others to believe, its a term used by people to get criticize others who dont blindly listent to them. like when atheists say im not open minded because i dont believe their load of messed up ideas, or when people who are pro-choice (ie, pro abortionists) call me closed minded beacause i believe abortion to be murder (which it is). so, people who call others closed minded, are just people who cant fathom the fact that there are opinions and facts out there that are not like their own. doesnt make either side wrong or right, just one a frustrated one.. haha

[1:59:41]

what kind of stuff do you dream about after 18 hours of sleep? i will tell you.
i dreamt about avril, im not really sure what the dream was about, what happened, or any of the specifics.. but, she was in it.. the other dream was me being a guest on conan (o'brien) and i was cracking jokes and making the audience laugh and what not.. and after the show we were walking and i apologized for being such a ham, and then someone asked me what that was and i answered "you know, like someone who keeps trying to be on camera and stuff" and then conan was like "no its ok, actually we've been looking for a new sidekick" (hahahah! i was going to be the new andy (richter)!!!) and then we walked into a pub (yes, a pub...) hahah it was great! there was another dream, but i forget.. still.. YEAH! so i slept 18 hours, dreamt with avril, and that i was on conan! the best of all worlds (sleep and waking)!!!!

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

[2:34:19]

i just scraped this thing on my foot.. (ohh yeah i went to play soccer the other day.. it was fun! but as always, i was injured.. my kleets scrape my foot, and i had a little blister..) anyways, so i scratched my blister on a drawer, and now its bleeding.. just a little too much for comfort.. i mean, i just scratched it! its not like i scalpelled it about! and the blood is just a bit too dark too! ahh whatever.. if it doesnt get infected, its ok with me...

Monday, February 17, 2003

[0:49:17]

ohh and this post was.. uhh.. posted.. using the BeOS operating system, and NetPositive browser.. ohh how sweet it is.. mmmm....

[0:43:11]

*has slept but 7 hours since thursday*

Saturday, February 15, 2003

[12:57:10]

today one year ago, i was walking through what is referred to as "the most romantic city in the world".... alone.

Friday, February 14, 2003

[23:00:28]

look to your left, thats right, the chris cho fanclub is up!! its still quite unfinished, but expect some real "interesting" content in there.. as only the man himself could provide..

[13:22:12]

i havent slept all night working on this stupid application, ive been working on it since tuesday, and i still havent finished answering all the friggin questions.. my eyes look like theyre going to bleed.. and i cant goto sleep until this mofer is mailed and on its way.. *continues to toil in favor of his "future"*

[2:29:04]

happy international day of loneliness everyone! i think im gettin my significant noone a brand spankin' new "nickolodeon invisible hamster" (tm)

Thursday, February 13, 2003

[19:52:57]

"you gotta keep on keeping on.."

[5:49:56]

*in a sean connery voice* "...febtober!"

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

[3:59:57]

saw "adaptation" the other day. i have to say, i was disappointed. not because it was bad, oh no, as amof, its an excellent movie, (as was to be expected) but, the problem is, that because it was a jonze/kaufman film, i was sort of expecting something insane like "being john malkovich" due to some odd advertizing choices made by the distributers and some already set expectations of my own... basically, i thought it was that charlie kaufman, (nicolas cage) was going to write himself into the movie itself, and that was the explanation for there being two kaufmans... expecting something crazy like that, i was disappointed. i have to say, this is one excellent movie. the performances were insanely good, even from nicolas cage, of whom i dont generally have in high regard, acting-wise, but he really did an amazing job in this movie. the directing even more so, as to be expected from spike jonze. the script, upto par with the aforementioned two. the problem? i saw being john malkovich before adaptation. and i let my mind fill in the blanks after seeing the ads for it. this film could easily have made my top 5 if not for that.. i think im going to have to see it again.. i suggest that if you like good movies, and good stories, and good directing, go see this movie.. but go in thinking its a normal movie, as amof, go in expecting nothing, and, like i have said before:

"expect nothing, and you will receive the world"

[2:28:50]

in the news: "psychic hit by car, didnt see it coming.."

[0:54:43]

whoa! conan (o'brien) just SWORE on air!! hahah.. ohh conesey, well, he was mid-skit, when something went wrong, and he was left hanging.. hahha.. after he screw up doing something (picking up a phone before it rang) and then the guy on the other side wasnt speaking (i guess the audio dropped or something) so conan was left in a split screen holding a non-sounding phone, lost it and said "f... it!" hung up and continued the skit.. haha.. thats a first!

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

[5:52:06]

someone in Kalamazoo visited my site.. Kalamazoo.. Kalamazooooooooo!!!! say it with me "Kalamazoo"!!!

[2:17:10]

i think someone crying is the most beautiful thing, its just so honest and such raw emotion.. i dont know.. its just.. beautiful

[0:34:45]

lets see, other stuff to say.. ohh yeah! we had this big ol' slumber party with some people we didnt know.. and it was just such a riot! lots o' fun.. i didnt sleep.. nop.. not at all.. and then later on that day we went to this award ceremony for my mother, and it was being televised, so, i think ima be on tv again!! im still an unkown.. but soon.. *extends his arms outward and widens his eyes* the world!

[0:16:33]

well, 100 people cant be wrong.. apparently i seem to be an 8.7 on a scale of 1 to 10 in goodlookingness, according to the voters at hot or not.. you are looking at (or not..) a guy "hotter" than 85% of males on hot or not! (i guess thats good.. right?)

Thursday, February 6, 2003

[2:00:39]

what in the HAIL is happening to time lately?? its already thursday!! seriously! the same thing happened to me last week.. i lost a day last week, went from wednesday to friday, and now it went from tuesday to thursday!! what is HAPPENING???

Tuesday, February 4, 2003

[17:48:44]

Poop \Poop\, n. [F. poupe; cf. Sp. & Pg. popa, It. poppa; all
   fr. L. puppis.] (Naut.)
   A deck raised above the after part of a vessel; the hindmost
   or after part of a vessel's hull; also, a cabin covered by
   such a deck. See Poop deck, under Deck. See also
   Roundhouse.

         With wind in poop, the vessel plows the sea. --Dryden.

         The poop was beaten gold.                --Shak.

[3:56:11]

sooo.. guess whos going to be on tv tomorning, and tomorrow morning? yep.. aparently, as i was accompanying my mommie to some interview, they decided i deserved to appear as well, and first they shot me while i wasnt paying attention, then, apparently they decided to "create" an extra part of the show so i could say some stuff!!! hahah! it was great! and its going to be on in about 4 hours.. YAY for me!!

Sunday, February 2, 2003

[3:44:16]

*currently has 4 different osii installed and werksing on his computer*

Saturday, February 1, 2003

[20:30:25]

whatever happened to our beloved beos?? well, it has been turned into the next palm os.. not exactly "bringing it back" but.. hey.. at least now we know..

[15:41:53]

opera 7 rated at the top in the browser wars! (personally, i like 6.05 best) view article