who i used to be


[this the old bio i had up, by the way, it's left more for "museum"-type purposes, that you may see who i used to be. see the new bio here]
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  All my life repressed... all my life reaching for righteousness, justice, only to learn direct from all my figures of authority... "Life's not fair". That being the only lesson I learnt in school...
   I needed release, somehow I would find my true self... I tried school, that didn't work... I tried music, several different instruments, but it just wasn't it...

   Then, I found it.

   I inherited a video camera (HI-8) and an entire world opened up for me... I began to draw, turning to art as well, later: writing. I wrote poems, scripts, skits, short stories anything and everything.

   I realized: "What I need is some form of creative release... and that affection I was missing out on at home..."

   I became the class-clown, and interestingly enough, I didn't always end up at the pricipal's office or thrown out, I even got the teacher to laugh a few times... indeed, most teachers, to this day, like me. I soon realized it was a general need of affection, mostly just attention...
   I turned to acting. Starring in all school plays, and getting all the best roles... psychos, chronically enraged characters (as I have met in my life), weirdos... It feels as though it is something I may just pursue... who knows...

   I also discovered a world like no other... where anything is possible, and all is ficticious, where in a leap you can fly across an entire town flapping your arms will only take you higher... A place where you encounter people you are soon to meet in life, where things can happen more than once and seem perfectly normal. It is a place we call dreamland, it is such a special place that I have been tempted to live in it permanently, except the taste of reality makes it all the much more enjoyable. Yes, I am known to sleep up to 16 hours for the single pleasure of enjoying a dream, and can safely say that I have never experienced a nightmare... and don't wish to either.

   Awake, I enjoy inspecting life's intricate details... I take great pleasure in stimulating my senses, I love smells, fresh air, strawberry parfum, admiring visually pleasing images like a beautiful woman, a movie of the likes of "the Matrix" or "What Dreams May Come", feeling smooth surfaces, or lying on a bed with three mattresses, hearing the crashing of waves or a song from Beck or Fatboy Slim.

   But I can't stand a few things... a bad movie (p0rn to mention a good example); cigarette smoke, and smokers of; psychotropics (drugs, alcohol); and powertripping as well as some other ones I'll withhold for now...







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