who i used to be
[this the old bio i had up, by the way, it's left more for "museum"-type purposes, that you may see who i used to be. see the new bio here]
--
All my life repressed... all my life reaching for righteousness, justice,
only to learn direct from all my figures of authority...
"Life's not fair".
That being the only lesson I learnt in school...
I needed
release, somehow I would find my true self... I tried school,
that didn't work... I tried music, several different instruments, but it
just wasn't
it...
Then, I found it.
I inherited a
video camera (HI-8) and an entire
world
opened up for me... I began to draw, turning to art as well, later:
writing. I wrote poems, scripts, skits, short stories anything and
everything.
I realized: "What I need is some form of creative
release... and that
affection I was missing out on at home..."
I became the
class-clown, and interestingly enough, I didn't always end up
at the pricipal's office or thrown out, I even got the teacher to laugh a
few times... indeed, most teachers, to this day, like me.
I soon realized it was a general need of affection, mostly just attention...
I turned to acting. Starring in all school plays, and getting all the best
roles...
psychos, chronically enraged characters (as I have met in my life),
weirdos...
It feels as though it is something I may just pursue... who knows...
I also discovered a world like no other...
where anything is possible, and
all is ficticious, where in a leap you can fly across an entire town
flapping your arms will only take you higher...
A place where you encounter people you are soon to meet in life, where
things can happen more than once and seem perfectly normal.
It is a place we call
dreamland, it is such a special place that I have
been tempted to live in it permanently, except the taste of reality makes
it all the much more enjoyable.
Yes, I am known to sleep up to 16 hours for the single pleasure of enjoying
a dream, and can safely say that I have never experienced a nightmare... and don't wish to either.
Awake, I enjoy inspecting life's
intricate details... I take great pleasure
in stimulating my senses, I love smells, fresh air, strawberry parfum,
admiring visually pleasing images like a beautiful woman, a movie of the
likes of
"the Matrix" or
"What Dreams May Come", feeling smooth surfaces,
or lying on a bed with three mattresses,
hearing the crashing of waves or a song from
Beck or
Fatboy Slim.
But I can't stand a few things... a bad movie (p0rn to mention a good
example);
cigarette smoke, and smokers of; psychotropics (drugs, alcohol); and
powertripping as well as some other ones I'll withhold for now...